Leaving Family is Hard
Today I made the ever-familiar trip from Utah to return to my home in Colorado. This time I traveled the road all by myself. I have driven the road alone before with children in the car, but this time I was all alone; all alone with God.  I cried as I departed my "Place of Beginnings" - Provo.  Why was I crying? I didn't like leaving my baby Lyla who is an adorable toddler now. I didn't like leaving my 83 year old Dad wondering if this would be my last time with him. I didn't like leaving my daughters at college without having more precious one on one's with them. I didn't like leaving my sisters and brothers without being able to serve them and help them somehow.  I didn't like leaving my daughter in law knowing it will be a while again till I am with her once more.
It is hard not to share my life with my family. I miss them so often. They were my "ready-made" friends during all of my growing up years and I loved that! As my few friends in Colorado are busy in their lives of work and grandchildren, I am feeling lonely.
I wonder if this is the way that Ruth of Old felt when she chose to live with her mother in law instead of returning back to her own home when her husband died.
Frank and I have lived with his parents and family for over 30 years now and I have been without my family for about 20 years now.  I can see the value of spending our lives here with Frank's folks, but I miss my own people.  My sister Sandy told me that my loneliness will not change simply if I moved to Utah where my whole family resides. I know what she is saying is partly true, but at least I could participate in more of the weekly, monthly, seasonal gatherings than I do now.
Don't get me wrong, I adore Frank's family. Truly, I do. It is just that I have an achey longing to be with our growing grandchild. I would love to spend regular time with her; take her on nana-outings, have special luncheon dates, and sleepovers etc.  I know, I know, that Lyla does not even live in Utah, but I would dearly love to be close.  This is hard for me. Wasn't  it hard for you too, Ruth?